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[13 Jul 2009|10:48am] |
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It occurred to me today, while walking the dog down Humbolt Boulevard, that moving to Chicago saved my life, and that is why I love this city so much.
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| Public Aid |
[25 Feb 2009|12:01am] |
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I have a meeting with a case worker tomorrow to set me up with food stamps. Let's hope this works out.
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[12 Jan 2009|09:28pm] |
I'm 24 and there's a blizzard outside. Both these things are true, but in that persistently surreal kind of way. I only ever feel like writing here when I have something persistent and surreal to reflect on.
I know it's a long way off, but next Xmas I really want to have a Handle Party. Everyone in attendance must bring a handle of her/his favorite liquor and we will listen to Handel's Messiah.
Maura is visiting Chicago for the first time. She loves snow, but I think this is a result of her not living in Chicago. We ate at this super good Middle-Eastern restaurant tonight. Our waiter was "in training," a fact that was made very clear to us at the start of our meal. He was very attentive and eager to please. His trainer brought us the check and asked confidentially if he did a good job. We wanted to make Training Waiter feel extra good because it seemed like he was under some pressure, so we wrote him notes at the top of our receipts. I wrote, "Training Waiter is way awesome," and Maura wrote, "Excellent service; are you sure you need training?". I think it was our good deed today.
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[18 Aug 2008|02:12am] |
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One week 'till Burning Man.
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| read this year, skip it. |
[28 May 2008|10:32pm] |
"Gigi"/"Julie de Carneilhan"/"Chance Acquaintances" by Colette
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins (the worst book I have ever read)
My Mistress' Sparrow is Dead compiled by Jeffrey Eugenides
Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson
Play it as it Lays by Joan Didion
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West by Cormac McCarthy
Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk
The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster
also a bunch of plays and issues of Rolling Stone.
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| La Convoitise |
[17 Apr 2008|11:11pm] |
Leaning out your fifth-story window, I forget what you said about your favorite novels and the artwork that moves you most.
("Ma cherie," you mug.)
I want to bite you instead of kiss you;
Baisers bloody with 3€ wine while Paris, passed out below us, simmers in early early morning;
stews lazily in its own possibility . . .
I am a foreigner here.
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| quelque chose |
[31 Mar 2008|11:29pm] |
Things I've been into lately:
Cormac McCarthy is the new Thomas Pynchon (to me)
Built to Spill, Local H, and other mid-90's post-grunge bands
Doc Martins w/ knee highs a la 1995
single-shot espresso
UCLA basketball
Parliament Lights
rescuing designer purses from consignment shops
investing
pink lady apples
the gas station self-service car wash
growing my roots out very severely
the corporal: scifi television and/or smoking cigarettes and/or other
Jean Genet's The Balcony as inspiration
checking out entirely because I leave for France on Thursday.
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| After I am Legend: |
[11 Feb 2008|01:28pm] |
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We live in the 21st century-- it's high time they made a zombie movie from the point of view of the zombies. Undead got to eat, son.
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| famous mime dies |
[24 Sep 2007|07:31pm] |
I don't think the realization that I am, in fact, not going back to school next week like every well-behaved UCLA student has hit me yet. My summer is ending. I feel my greatest achievement has been completing the entire Harry Potter series. We're talking straight through in under two months. It was glorious. I really enjoy that Professor Sprout.
I leave on Friday for a 4 day roadtrip/move to Chicago. I'm actually really looking forward to the drive. My dad, petrified that my 1990 Acura Legend would not make the 2100+ miles, got really impulsive last weekend and bought me a 2003 Volkswagon Jetta. It felt ridiculous, but I won't complain. Her name is Gretta. Gretta Jetta. This was extremely opportune, because Brunhilda "the Fat Bitch/the Blan" Voyager has practically kicked it, so my brother was able to inherit Logan Legend without lapse in his driving activity. Anyway, back to this roadtrip: I can't wait. We're aiming for roughly 600 miles a day, with around 400 on the last day. We're staying in places like Elkton, Nevada, Laramie, Wyoming, and Omaha Nebraska. I think we'll get to see the Great Salt Lake. I would have never imagined I'd find the middle of the country extremely exotic, but I do. I'm severely disappointed that Route 80 does not go through South Dakota . . . I just really want to go to South Dakota. Perhaps I'll be making amends on a future roadtrip.
As the actual move is nearing, I feel nervous, disorganized, and unprepared. I've been talking about moving to Chicago "in the fall" for a long time now, I've been falling asleep to images of leaving everything behind and starting an exciting life in a vibrant city far far away, only now that it's upon me I feel like it's come too soon. It really hasn't, it just feels that way. Perhaps if I stopped viewing the move as some kind of test, I'd stop feeling so stressed out. I don't even think "stressed out" is the correct analysis; I think I'm anxious more than anything. The move breaks down into two parts: getting there, and doing what I want to do with the rest of my life once I get there. The move itself has become mired in the logistics of moving, but the ultimate goal is to make a living making theater, to become Equity, to open my own theater company in the next 10 or so years, to change the world with art, yadda yadda yadda. I suppose all those things don't have to happen in Chicago (I see myself living in St. Louis at some point, for some reason), or even in the projected future, but that cannot shade the fact that I want them to happen (and badly).
At any rate, I think I have a lot to look forward to in Chicago. My apartment is in Lakeview, a rather nice neighborhood not too far from the Loop. It's cheap, and the heat's included. It's about two blocks from the lake, so I can walk out my door, look left, and see the gargantuan cerulean thing. I'm a mile from Wrigly Field. Yeeeessss. I also believe my apartment sits on the edge of Boystown. Yeeessss. There are tons of theaters in the city, at least five in my neighborhood alone. The public transportation rocks, there's plenty of public art, and weird places like Gary, Indiana, are way close. Okay, I've talked this up plenty, I'm starting to annoy myself.
There are a lot of things I'm going to miss about California. I remember having the realization in L.A. prior to graduating that I may never again live in a place where all of my friends are within walking distance of my apartment. I mean, like, college is a unique experience. I'm sure I'll miss the weather here, especially when it's the middle of January and 30 below zero. Apparently, it really gets that cold in Chicago. I'm going to miss how secure I feel in my house in San Jose, drinking with my parents, my brother's sarcastic remarks, and my sister's stoner-ey behavior. I'll miss Ethan too, I can't pretend I won't.
Let's see, in other news I think my rat has a tumor. Apparently, female rats are extremely susceptible-- like well over a 50% chance. I think she has a strong spirit, though, and a will to survive, so she'll make it through.
Sooooo, packing: haven't started yet; should get on that.
Umm after another glass of wine.
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[31 Jul 2007|01:18pm] |
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I had this dream the other night that I was still working at Elysee, only it didn't look anything like Elysee, I didn't remember how to do anything, and the woman I was helping kept ordering trying to order drinks in Disney souvenir cups (specifically the one shaped like Aladdin), which were not on the menu. And her credit card wouldn't work, but that was my fault because I broke the machine. I walked out of the cafe and into a bar and proceeded to get drunk, and no one would talk to me. All of a sudden I was riding my bicycle through some Cambrian Park neighborhood in San Jose. It was very early in the morning, and all these housewives in jogging suits were going out for their early morning walk/latte, and they didn't like me being there. I tried to hide in a community center art room where a group of small screaming children were throwing paint around. This distressed me so I ran downstairs, and arrived just in time for a play going up in this huge open room. I sat up front. Then I realized it was a play Max was directing. Then I realized I was in the play, so I got on stage and tried to do my part. Every one around me seemed convinced I was crazy and was doing everything wrong, but I couldn't discern if this was for real, or just part of the plot. I started taking my clothes off, but every time I became entirely undressed, my clothes magically appeared back on my body. I decided everything that was going on around me corresponded to my philosophy on creating new modes of performance and use of space. Nevertheless, everyone seemed pretty upset with me, so I went into hiding. I hid in a huge house on a cul-de-sac of other huge houses. This family took me in. They had a son and a daughter who were desperately in love with each other. This made me uncomfortable at first, but I decided it was probably okay. We were enrolling in high school when I woke up.
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| springbreakapostrophewhoooldmanbirdkisssaltyskipperPINKBUNNYSLIPPER. |
[15 Jun 2007|02:30pm] |
I graduate from UCLA in approximately one and one-half hours. I even shaved my armpits for the occasion-- kind of a big deal.
Shelley, what are your plans after you graduate?
Well, I'm moving home for about two months to save money, read lots of plays, go to cappoiera classes, and attend lots of baseball games, and then I'm moving to Chicago in September.
Chicago?! It's so cold there!
I'm very excited for it.
What are you going to do in Chicago? It's so cold there!
I'm going to make lots of theater and try very hard to become a White Sox fan.
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| i love this. |
[14 May 2007|12:07am] |
"I head up to this place in the Bronx, the Point, and read to schoolchildren. I read from Dr. Seuss, which is something I grew up with. But I'm not sure these kids understand some of the words, so I just put it in simple language. It's great and so much fun."
--Naomi Campbell
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| indio and other desert cities |
[29 Apr 2007|06:52am] |
Sometimes you become so disillusioned that you can't feel hunger anymore, and you find yourself giving an Academy Award-winning soliloquy at 6:45 in the morning to a stale rice cracker.
Then you think of how somehow you're so in love, and every time you look in the mirror you see self-worth creeping in and curling up the corners of your mouth.
Feels better for boys dressed in day-glo,
sipping cigar smoke, and
pondering those winds
entrenched in suburbia
until the end of the world.
Co/smella was so fun. Bjork continues to change my life.
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[30 Jan 2007|12:31am] |
"doubting if there's a woman in there somewhere, here."
36 hours.
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[03 Dec 2006|11:17pm] |
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I shaved my armpits this evening for the first time in 4 months because my play opens next week and my character would not be caught dead with armpit hair as unruly as mine [was]. I feel sad and perhaps a little cold. I am thankful that hair is one of those things that eventually grows back.
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| to anyone who pays attention: |
[29 Aug 2006|03:38pm] |
Book recomendation:
V. by Thomas Pynchon
Pretty much, the most inventive, epic, and exciting novel I have ever read. It's a mystery, too.
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shelleee's journal